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Title : "When Is It OK to Blow Off Weddings, Funerals, and Other Major Milestones?"
link : "When Is It OK to Blow Off Weddings, Funerals, and Other Major Milestones?"
"When Is It OK to Blow Off Weddings, Funerals, and Other Major Milestones?"
That's a good etiquette question, answered at Lifehacker in 2017 during "Evil Week," when Lifehacker covered "less-than-seemly methods for getting shit done."The author of this piece — the delightfully named Lucy Cohen Blatter — says things like "Depending on how far you live from the person who’s invited you, that’s a useful rule of thumb for most of us—closer relationships will almost always take top priority." It's pretty focused on maintaining relationships and not hurting feelings too much. So there's one answer to the question that she never gets anywhere near.
It's totally OK to blow off a funeral when the previously alive person said explicitly and publicly I don't want you at my funeral.
Now, you've get the best excuse ever: You were disinvited. And funerals don't even have invitations. The now-dead person went out of his way to tell you to keep out. You've got a lock on nonattendance. Who can say you blew it off? You're respecting the dead man's wishes.
But here's a thought experiment: What if Donald Trump decided that in fact he should attend John McCain's memorial service in Washington (the one with the eulogies from Barack Obama and George W. Bush)? What if he analyzed it and determined that — despite McCain's pointed effort to absolve him of obligation to attend — it was not OK to blow it off?
This is kind of a 2-part question, because first you have to figure out what plausible analysis could take you there. I see the path to that conclusion, so I'm convinced it's possible. The second part of the question is how would Trump do this strange thing and attend the service when we all know John McCain's expressed preference? What would Trump say, where would he sit, how would he act?
Here's an analogy to help you think about it. A married woman dies, and her husband and children are the dominant figures at the funeral. But she had a lover, X, and the husband knows about X, hates him, and the woman, before she died, told X that he must stay away from the funeral. X might nevertheless decide that he must attend and concentrate on how to do it, maybe slip in quietly and find a place in the back.
IN THE COMMENTS: D 2 Dylan-parodied:
I received your non-invitation yesterday
About the time the flagpole broke
You told me not to come a'mourning
Was that some kind of joke
All these People that you mention
Yes I know them they are quite lame
So I rode an escalator and give them all bad nicknames
Right now I can't read too good
Guess I'll make it all up as I go
And in three days time they'll report another
Horrid Trump No-no.
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That's a good etiquette question, answered at Lifehacker in 2017 during "Evil Week," when Lifehacker covered "less-than-seemly methods for getting shit done."
The author of this piece — the delightfully named Lucy Cohen Blatter — says things like "Depending on how far you live from the person who’s invited you, that’s a useful rule of thumb for most of us—closer relationships will almost always take top priority." It's pretty focused on maintaining relationships and not hurting feelings too much. So there's one answer to the question that she never gets anywhere near.
It's totally OK to blow off a funeral when the previously alive person said explicitly and publicly I don't want you at my funeral.
Now, you've get the best excuse ever: You were disinvited. And funerals don't even have invitations. The now-dead person went out of his way to tell you to keep out. You've got a lock on nonattendance. Who can say you blew it off? You're respecting the dead man's wishes.
But here's a thought experiment: What if Donald Trump decided that in fact he should attend John McCain's memorial service in Washington (the one with the eulogies from Barack Obama and George W. Bush)? What if he analyzed it and determined that — despite McCain's pointed effort to absolve him of obligation to attend — it was not OK to blow it off?
This is kind of a 2-part question, because first you have to figure out what plausible analysis could take you there. I see the path to that conclusion, so I'm convinced it's possible. The second part of the question is how would Trump do this strange thing and attend the service when we all know John McCain's expressed preference? What would Trump say, where would he sit, how would he act?
Here's an analogy to help you think about it. A married woman dies, and her husband and children are the dominant figures at the funeral. But she had a lover, X, and the husband knows about X, hates him, and the woman, before she died, told X that he must stay away from the funeral. X might nevertheless decide that he must attend and concentrate on how to do it, maybe slip in quietly and find a place in the back.
IN THE COMMENTS: D 2 Dylan-parodied:
The author of this piece — the delightfully named Lucy Cohen Blatter — says things like "Depending on how far you live from the person who’s invited you, that’s a useful rule of thumb for most of us—closer relationships will almost always take top priority." It's pretty focused on maintaining relationships and not hurting feelings too much. So there's one answer to the question that she never gets anywhere near.
It's totally OK to blow off a funeral when the previously alive person said explicitly and publicly I don't want you at my funeral.
Now, you've get the best excuse ever: You were disinvited. And funerals don't even have invitations. The now-dead person went out of his way to tell you to keep out. You've got a lock on nonattendance. Who can say you blew it off? You're respecting the dead man's wishes.
But here's a thought experiment: What if Donald Trump decided that in fact he should attend John McCain's memorial service in Washington (the one with the eulogies from Barack Obama and George W. Bush)? What if he analyzed it and determined that — despite McCain's pointed effort to absolve him of obligation to attend — it was not OK to blow it off?
This is kind of a 2-part question, because first you have to figure out what plausible analysis could take you there. I see the path to that conclusion, so I'm convinced it's possible. The second part of the question is how would Trump do this strange thing and attend the service when we all know John McCain's expressed preference? What would Trump say, where would he sit, how would he act?
Here's an analogy to help you think about it. A married woman dies, and her husband and children are the dominant figures at the funeral. But she had a lover, X, and the husband knows about X, hates him, and the woman, before she died, told X that he must stay away from the funeral. X might nevertheless decide that he must attend and concentrate on how to do it, maybe slip in quietly and find a place in the back.
IN THE COMMENTS: D 2 Dylan-parodied:
I received your non-invitation yesterday
About the time the flagpole broke
You told me not to come a'mourning
Was that some kind of joke
All these People that you mention
Yes I know them they are quite lame
So I rode an escalator and give them all bad nicknames
Right now I can't read too good
Guess I'll make it all up as I go
And in three days time they'll report another
Horrid Trump No-no.
Thus articles "When Is It OK to Blow Off Weddings, Funerals, and Other Major Milestones?"
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