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Title : "One lesson of feminism, surely, is that being like other women, rather than a shining unfettered exception, isn’t such a terrible thing."
link : "One lesson of feminism, surely, is that being like other women, rather than a shining unfettered exception, isn’t such a terrible thing."
"One lesson of feminism, surely, is that being like other women, rather than a shining unfettered exception, isn’t such a terrible thing."
Writes Michelle Goldberg reacting to this line in a 1981 essay by Nona Willis Aronowitz: "I secretly wanted monogamy, that I was just like every other woman who wanted to tie her man down."The Golberg column is titled "When Sexual Liberation Is Oppressive" (NYT).
She's bringing up a 1981 essay by Nona Willis Aronowitz, because Willis Aronowitz quoted herself in her new book "Bad Sex: Truth, Pleasure and an Unfinished Revolution."
Willis Aronowitz is the daughter of Ellen Willis, who was — as Goldberg puts it — a "pro-sex feminist writer."
Don't you have to choose what to put first, sex or feminism? If you set out to put them on equal footing, what do you get? I must be a feminist and I must be pro-sex.
Well, maybe you thought it all out and began with feminism, let yourself think about it from all angles, and arrived at the conclusion that the true and best feminism entails active positivity toward sex. And then you carve back the concept of sex, so that only the sex that fits with feminism counts as the kind of sex you're in favor of.
Or maybe you start out with the sex. You want to be positive and enthusiastic about sex, to have an active and powerful sex life. And then, with that in mind, you craft a version of feminism that supports your primary goal of vigorous, plentiful sex sex sex.
There's a third option, where you keep sex and feminism at a rigidly equal level, and you really try all along to give them equal importance. Or maybe you just think freely and independently, and, over time, sex and feminism find a place in your thoughts, and they coexist and don't conflict, because you like them both, and you don't test them to see where the conflicts are or which is more important. It's more about your internal life of self-esteem in which, sure, you're a feminist, and sure, you're pro-sex.
See how long you can keep that going?
Goldberg writes:
Willis Aronowitz discovered that her mother was devastated by the infidelity of her father, the socialist organizer and scholar Stanley Aronowitz. Pregnant with Nona, Willis wrote in her diary of hoping that a baby would help heal her relationship. “It seemed to ‘tear my mother’s very vitals’ to look herself in the face and admit that what she wanted clashed with a politically perfect idea of herself,” writes Willis Aronowitz.
Yet Willis Aronowitz still sometimes hesitates to question whether her political ideas about sex are serving her. Philosophically committed to nonmonogamy, she’s taken aback by her overwhelming jealousy when a man she’s in love with and with whom she has an open relationship sleeps with someone else.
Oh, come on. Pick feminism and take a chance that you might be one of those women who aren't pro whatever the currently fashionable view of sex is. Pro-sex feminism ought to at least mean that the women gets to decide what kind of sex she's pro. If it's monogamous sex, why she trying to convince herself that she wants nonmonogamy? As a thinker, she resembles the women who think that monogamy is the only choice and force themselves to believe that's what they truly want and believe in.
Ironically, that's not pro-sex and it's also not feminism!
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Writes Michelle Goldberg reacting to this line in a 1981 essay by Nona Willis Aronowitz: "I secretly wanted monogamy, that I was just like every other woman who wanted to tie her man down."
The Golberg column is titled "When Sexual Liberation Is Oppressive" (NYT).
She's bringing up a 1981 essay by Nona Willis Aronowitz, because Willis Aronowitz quoted herself in her new book "Bad Sex: Truth, Pleasure and an Unfinished Revolution."
Willis Aronowitz is the daughter of Ellen Willis, who was — as Goldberg puts it — a "pro-sex feminist writer."
Don't you have to choose what to put first, sex or feminism? If you set out to put them on equal footing, what do you get? I must be a feminist and I must be pro-sex.
Well, maybe you thought it all out and began with feminism, let yourself think about it from all angles, and arrived at the conclusion that the true and best feminism entails active positivity toward sex. And then you carve back the concept of sex, so that only the sex that fits with feminism counts as the kind of sex you're in favor of.
Or maybe you start out with the sex. You want to be positive and enthusiastic about sex, to have an active and powerful sex life. And then, with that in mind, you craft a version of feminism that supports your primary goal of vigorous, plentiful sex sex sex.
There's a third option, where you keep sex and feminism at a rigidly equal level, and you really try all along to give them equal importance. Or maybe you just think freely and independently, and, over time, sex and feminism find a place in your thoughts, and they coexist and don't conflict, because you like them both, and you don't test them to see where the conflicts are or which is more important. It's more about your internal life of self-esteem in which, sure, you're a feminist, and sure, you're pro-sex.
See how long you can keep that going?
Goldberg writes:
Willis Aronowitz discovered that her mother was devastated by the infidelity of her father, the socialist organizer and scholar Stanley Aronowitz. Pregnant with Nona, Willis wrote in her diary of hoping that a baby would help heal her relationship. “It seemed to ‘tear my mother’s very vitals’ to look herself in the face and admit that what she wanted clashed with a politically perfect idea of herself,” writes Willis Aronowitz.
Yet Willis Aronowitz still sometimes hesitates to question whether her political ideas about sex are serving her. Philosophically committed to nonmonogamy, she’s taken aback by her overwhelming jealousy when a man she’s in love with and with whom she has an open relationship sleeps with someone else.
Oh, come on. Pick feminism and take a chance that you might be one of those women who aren't pro whatever the currently fashionable view of sex is. Pro-sex feminism ought to at least mean that the women gets to decide what kind of sex she's pro. If it's monogamous sex, why she trying to convince herself that she wants nonmonogamy? As a thinker, she resembles the women who think that monogamy is the only choice and force themselves to believe that's what they truly want and believe in.
Ironically, that's not pro-sex and it's also not feminism!
Thus articles "One lesson of feminism, surely, is that being like other women, rather than a shining unfettered exception, isn’t such a terrible thing."
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