Loading...

"'If equal affection cannot be,' W.H. Auden wrote, 'let the more loving one be me.'" - Hallo friend WELCOME TO AMERICA, In the article you read this time with the title "'If equal affection cannot be,' W.H. Auden wrote, 'let the more loving one be me.'", we have prepared well for this article you read and download the information therein. hopefully fill posts Article AMERICA, Article CULTURAL, Article ECONOMIC, Article POLITICAL, Article SECURITY, Article SOCCER, Article SOCIAL, we write this you can understand. Well, happy reading.

Title : "'If equal affection cannot be,' W.H. Auden wrote, 'let the more loving one be me.'"
link : "'If equal affection cannot be,' W.H. Auden wrote, 'let the more loving one be me.'"

"'If equal affection cannot be,' W.H. Auden wrote, 'let the more loving one be me.'"

"In the romantic quest to find a person with whom to share a life, though, we really do seek someone who will fully reciprocate our feelings. We’re warned, accordingly, not to press ourselves on someone who, in the old formula, is 'just not that into you.' Friendships are different; they come in a variety of intensities. Romantic love, if you’ll indulge the caricature, has a toggle switch; friendships come with a dimmer switch. Some friendships have the 'one soul in two bodies' intensity that Montaigne wrote about. Other friendships involve vague good will and an actual conversation every other year. You seldom see each other, but you have a blast when you do. Is there any real friendship between you two?"

So begins an answer from the NYT "ethicist," Kwame Anthony Appiah, answering a question from a person who "pretend[s] to like" someone who considers him a friend. He sees this person as unpleasant and depressed but continues to get together with him, seemingly out of pity for him. 

Here's the Montaigne essay, "Of Friendship." 

If a man should importune me to give a reason why I loved him, I find it could no otherwise be expressed, than by making answer: because it was he, because it was I. There is, beyond all that I am able to say, I know not what inexplicable and fated power that brought on this union...

Here's the W.H. Auden poem, "The More Loving One."

How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.

What if you found out you were the person whom the other one was pretending to like? Would you think, ah, then I am the more loving one? Or would you think why did this person consume so much of my time and take from me what he didn't even want?

I think the question-asker in this case has decided the other person has a need that is so woeful it is served even by pretense. And how does he know the other person isn't doing the same thing —  pretending to be a friend out of pity? Both consume the other's time because they imagine time spent with me is valuable. Is that a waste of time or time that is, for both, well spent?

"In the romantic quest to find a person with whom to share a life, though, we really do seek someone who will fully reciprocate our feelings. We’re warned, accordingly, not to press ourselves on someone who, in the old formula, is 'just not that into you.' Friendships are different; they come in a variety of intensities. Romantic love, if you’ll indulge the caricature, has a toggle switch; friendships come with a dimmer switch. Some friendships have the 'one soul in two bodies' intensity that Montaigne wrote about. Other friendships involve vague good will and an actual conversation every other year. You seldom see each other, but you have a blast when you do. Is there any real friendship between you two?"

So begins an answer from the NYT "ethicist," Kwame Anthony Appiah, answering a question from a person who "pretend[s] to like" someone who considers him a friend. He sees this person as unpleasant and depressed but continues to get together with him, seemingly out of pity for him. 

Here's the Montaigne essay, "Of Friendship." 

Loading...

id="more">If a man should importune me to give a reason why I loved him, I find it could no otherwise be expressed, than by making answer: because it was he, because it was I. There is, beyond all that I am able to say, I know not what inexplicable and fated power that brought on this union...

Here's the W.H. Auden poem, "The More Loving One."

How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.

What if you found out you were the person whom the other one was pretending to like? Would you think, ah, then I am the more loving one? Or would you think why did this person consume so much of my time and take from me what he didn't even want?

I think the question-asker in this case has decided the other person has a need that is so woeful it is served even by pretense. And how does he know the other person isn't doing the same thing —  pretending to be a friend out of pity? Both consume the other's time because they imagine time spent with me is valuable. Is that a waste of time or time that is, for both, well spent?

Thus articles "'If equal affection cannot be,' W.H. Auden wrote, 'let the more loving one be me.'"

that is all articles "'If equal affection cannot be,' W.H. Auden wrote, 'let the more loving one be me.'" This time, hopefully can provide benefits to all of you. Okay, see you in another article posting.

You now read the article "'If equal affection cannot be,' W.H. Auden wrote, 'let the more loving one be me.'" with the link address https://welcometoamerican.blogspot.com/2022/12/if-equal-affection-cannot-be-wh-auden.html

Tweet

Subscribe to receive free email updates: